Working out is supposed to be a personal experience. It isn't supposed to be about anyone else at the gym. It's supposed to be about doing what is right for you in a way that is right for you. It's about testing your own boundaries and pushing your own limits and growing into the best person you can be. Or so I hear.
I, personally, can't help but compare myself to the people around me. For example, some of the people in the gym get on, say, the elliptical, and just go go go as fast as their little legs can carry them. Then they have the audacity to look a little flushed and a whole lot satisfied when they get off the machine and hour later. I can't do that. I physically am unable to push my elliptical into hyperspeed. I know because I've tried and all I end up doing is falling off the machine and seeing spots after about ten minutes. Or how about those people who are practically sweating out a kiddie pool? Now I don't want to be someone who sweats, I hate sweating, but it's kind of like a workout badge of honor. I mean are you really working out if you can't accumulate a good rolling pour? I can never manage more than a glisten with the occasional bead that rolls to freedom. It makes me feel like I'm not really working at my workout, no matter how high my heart rate goes or how many calories I've burned. And let's not even talk about the showoffs who's heart rates never seem to go quite as high as mine, even if all outward appearances make it seem like they are working harder. Yes, I peek at my neighbors heart rates. There I am, running half their speed with twice their heart rate, red in the face and huffing and puffing, feeling like a hopeless case. It's a little disheartening. I keep myself going by telling myself that I can get there by sticking to it, but I'm all about instant results. Telling myself "one day" doesn't really do it for me.
Speaking of instant results, I'm having doubts, yes already, as to the efficacy of this plan. I just don't feel like anything has really changed and I wonder if my plan is enough. Of course it has only been 4 days. And I have been sticking to my guns. I'm doing good with my substitute veggie day, not having had meat all day. For me this is big because I have meat with just about every meal. And for the first time I left my home to go to the gym like I told myself I would. I skipped the gym this morning because I was exhausted. My coordination suffers when I'm tired and falling on my booty in front of an entire gym full of New Year's resolutioners is not positive reinforcement. I told myself I'd go in the afternoon instead, which I've said before and completely failed to follow through on. But today I did it. I went home, went to sleep, and as soon as I woke and was certain I wasn't immediately going back to sleep I went to the gym. Go me! I even did a little research into how many burned calories translate into a pound lost. I now have a minimum calorie burn goal of 500 a day, twice that if I can get to it. Currently I average around 800-850. I'll have to work to push myself over the 1000 calorie mark if I want to lose 2.5 pounds in a week. I tried today, but it took more oomph than I really had. My energy lately has been really low which makes my workouts a little less than enthusiastic.
I'll try again tomorrow. And I guess I'll stick to "one day"... for now.
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