Reconnecting

At first all I felt was trepidation and a bone deep surety that I'd be judged and found wanting. They mingled together, culminating in the dull throb of my heartbeat at the base of my throat. After all it had been years. What if I had forgotten how? I wrestled with the idea of turning around and heading home, but I was already at the front desk and Virginia, the woman behind it,  was smiling at me expectantly. After a brief internal conversation where I reminded myself there was absolutely no reason to feel nervous I tentatively told her why I'd come. I wanted to use the pool.

I thought the pool would be a good alternative to dry cardio,  which lately has left my legs aching. My logic was that alternating between aquatic and cardio workouts would spare my legs some pain.

I hadn't done more than splash about in the pool for years. I slipped into the water and took a deep, slow breath, unsure of what would come next. When I struck out with my first few strokes it felt just slightly less awkward than I expected.  I'm by no means a pro but I wasn't floundering. I made my way from one end of the pool to the other.  It was slow and left me gasping, but after about three goes I realized something.

I remembered how much I loved to swim.  I had forgotten how peaceful I found the world of pulse and breath that I've only found with my head submerged. After each pass I felt a bit more accomplished. I ended up staying until the center closed.  Even then I was totally willing to do more swimming. In the end I've reconnected with a live I'd forgotten and got a good workout all at once. 

We'll have to do this again sometime.

Sweat-tastic...twice a day.

The picture is me all shiny after my first workout of the day.  Thank goodness I don't get gross sweaty.  I've decided to do the workout thing twice a day for a while. I've also taken to using a couch to 5k program.  This means I'm running.  I hate running,  but I have a goal to do a color run this year. Running is a means to an end. 

I also chose to increase my exercising because I've totally slacked off for my first few weeks in the fitness challenge.  I disappointed myself by not getting into the spirit of it,  which was the entire point.  So here's what I've done.  I wrote up a calendar for the next five weeks that has a checklist on it for each of my workouts.  This way if I skip it's staring at me instead of being easily forgotten. So far it's a theory that works.  Of course this is only the second day. Let's see how long I can keep it up!

Challenge!!!

I entered a fitness competition.  I have  eight weeks to lose as much as possible.  The competition is run but Herbalife, but I see an opportunity to push myself back into the healthy lifestyle I had attained. I weighed myself today and lost a pound which ain't nothin' but it's also not enough.  I originally signed up because my friend is doing it and I figured I could at least use it as motivation to hop back on the health train. Now I want to win. I need to at least give it my all.

Long story short I have gained all but 20 of my lost pounds back. I feel like everything in my life has spiraled out of  control. I no longer even pretend like I'm living a healthy life. I'm not sure when this slide started but it has to stop and it has to stop today. I've never been a sit and wait kind of girl,  so why do I keep waiting on a perfect moment of readiness to change?  The truth is there is no perfect moment. There is no switch that flips off the urge to eat cookies and drink soda and take a nap instead of a walk.  Jump starts require an electric jolt and a sudden change and a little bit of pain too.  If it were easy everyone would do it. If it were fun it wouldn't be so hard. 

I have a new motto: don't make excuses,  make changes. 

So right this moment I'm making a change.  I'm taking a walk instead of a nap.  And I'm not waiting for any perfect moments to do it.