Part Of The Problem

So I've noticed a few things that I need to focus on improving upon. I got lazy last week and didn't drink my water. As a result I felt kind of crappy and got lazy about everywhere else too. Seriously my house is a mess because I just "didn't feel like it." What is it? Anything. I didn't feel like cleaning, or cooking, or doing anything more taxing than laying in bed reading a book or watching a movie. Worse, I really only gave the gym half an effort. In fact I think the only reason I managed to not gain weight was because I also didn't feel like eating all that much either. So that is one thing I am aiming to work on as I move forward. I really need to move beyond "I don't feel like it" to "I need to get it done." And this week I have been drinking my water and I feel worlds better. I've also been going to the gym in addition to doing my TurboFire. Speaking of, I am soooooo sore and trying hard not to use it as an excuse. I've been hurting since I started TurboFire on Monday and after the tone class I took today that is only going to get worse. My only hope is that I whip this pathetic lump of fat I call a body into enough shape that I'm not punished all week for each class. I have a feeling this is a long road.

Another point of improvement: my eating habits. While I still stick mostly to the plan the quality of stuff I've been eating has taken a turn for the worse. I've been giving in to cravings. I've been losing track of how many sodas I've had or how many times I've eaten out in a week. I've been indulging in very very sweet tea....and beer. Things like that have me questioning my decision making processes. I've decided it has to be because I stopped logging my food. I got into a wreck (not my fault this time) a few weeks back and as a result hurriedly cleaned out my car. One of the things to come out of my car and go into a box to be sorted later was my food journal. It is in that box still and I believe that lack of accountability has caused this downward spiral. So, as soon as I log off I'm dusting it off and recording again. Okay, maybe when I wake up.

I've fallen back into the habit of indulging my sweet tooth. It seems every time I fall off the anti-sugar wagon it gets harder and harder to drag myself back up. It's becoming clear to me that sugar and I aren't ready to part ways yet. I'm going to invest in some snack size candies to try to wean myself off. That way I can satisfy the need for something sweet by eating just one. I get the sweet taste without going overboard and seriously standing in my own way.

Now to some things that have gone right. One of my supervisors turned to me this week, looked me up and down and said, "You've lost weight." Period, no question. After gazing at me pensively for a few moments she concluded with, "You look good." I have to say this made me very happy. That it wasn't a question but a statement of fact, even more so. And I got a personal confirmation on two fronts: I can wear (comfortably) jeans I haven't been able to fit into in a year, and my fingers have gone down a ring size and are flirting with another. Both discoveries left me a little giddy. It truly is the little things, stacking one on top of the other, that are quietly whispering of my successes. I'm just eager, at this point, to keep them talking.