...which side of the sado-masochism set I fall under, I now feel firmly certain that I am NOT a masochist. There are some people that really love muscle exhaustion and take that quiet ache as a sign of a workout well done. I am not one of those people. I'm in a constant state of soreness, and everyone seems really excited about it. Everyone except me, that is. It seems that now that I've made the decision to commit to both the gym and my TurboFire program I'm doomed to a life of one thing hurting or another. Seriously, as soon as the ache leaves my arms, my legs hurt. As soon as my legs heal up it's my abs. I've felt muscles ache that I'm almost certain I never saw on that guy in the doctor's offices and anatomy textbook. You know, the one who's been skinned so patients can learn something while waiting for the doctor to get around to seeing them. Yesterday I worked really hard, both in the gym and again when I got home. As a result, my legs feel like any wrong move will cause my calves to snap off at the knee and roll up like a bad cartoon. My back took nearly two hours to warm up enough for me to have full range of motion. Also if I bend and lift just right, as I discovered in the middle of my workday, my teres major remind me forcefully that they are there. I'm taking a break today and it couldn't come a minute too soon. Pain makes me cranky.
On the positive side, I am beginning to really notice a change in the way my clothes fit for the first time. I'm talking about the stuff I wear every day. Especially around my thighs, my pants are getting a little looser every day. This brings me the joy that I keep getting told I'm supposed to feel about my sore muscles. I'm not, however, excited about the way my fat seems to be coming off. I feel like I'm losing everywhere but the two places I'd like to see a change the most: my belly and my arms. I may just be exhibiting my neuroses, but I feel like all the fat in my torso is traveling to my kangaroo pouch and throwing a farewell party there. In fact, I had this weird dream that I got really skinny around my ribcage, and my legs and arms were like sticks, but my belly was as fat and flabby as ever. In my dream my fat stomach swayed when I walked like my cat's does. It really wasn't cool. Now, when I look in the mirror it seems like the bulge of my belly keeps growing while my face and everything else (except my water wings) get smaller.
The scale said I gained two pounds back last week, but I feel thinner so I wonder if I actually put back on fat or if I'm beefing up the muscle, which is denser. Since my body fat is down by 2% from when I started, which I'm coming to realize is a good bit, I'm voting for muscle. I guess that's just going to have to be worth the pain.
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