Today is not a good day. I feel terrible. In fact, I've felt pretty bad all week. But on top of physically feeling bad, I am also in an unhealthy psychological place today. I recognize it for what it is, so I don't really validate it, but that doesn't change the astucious whisper in the back of my mind telling me I'm fat and unattractive and gross. It doesn't change the fact that seeing myself in the mirror at the gym today made me cringe. If I'm honest, this feeling has been creeping up on me all week, today that mean old voice in my head is just louder than it has been in a long time.
On top of everything else I'm having the keenest cravings for sugar. I did it to myself. On Friday I gave in to my month long craving and got myself a blueberry cake doughnut...okay and a dark chocolate filled doughnut too. But I didn't eat that one until Sunday. Then on Saturday I had cake. On Monday I helped myself to three chocolates at a friend's house. This is not to mention all the sodas and such I had over the weekend. I put my body back in sugar mode, which it hasn't been in for months. Now I'm paying for it. I mean some of these cravings are so serious I can taste them, literally. Like right now my tongue is heavy with the taste of shortbread cookies. I don't have shortbread cookies, and in an effort to curb this trend I am definitely not going to be getting some any time soon. It helps that I don't have much of anything sweet in the house and I'm too lazy to actually bake things this week. Hopefully this feeling passes soon because I know where the Ferrero Rocher's are hidden...
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