Welcome to my blog. The purpose here is simple: to chronicle my thoughts, actions, plans, and goals in getting healthy in the year 2017. Feel free to look around and offer encouragement or suggestions.

Friday, August 5, 2011

July In Summary

Ugh. Okay, here goes. I began July at 280 and ended at 277. It's progress, yes, but I spent a lot of time fighting myself this month. I really stood in my own way. My disappointment over the total lack of success from last month led me to an "I-just-don't-care-anymore" kind of place. There is a saboteur in my home and she is me. I have to give her credit. She's sneaky. Imminently persuasive and wielding what seems on the face of it irrefutable logic, I have managed to talk myself out of behaviors I know positively propel me toward my goal and I have, likewise, talked myself into nonproductive behaviors. And I won't lie, at the root of it all was a feeling that nothing I did mattered anyway. My lack of progress has definitely made me despondent. But I have decided to brush it off. I'm headed back to basics. You may remember a while ago I mentioned that I had not been writing in my food journal and was going to restart that practice. Well I didn't. I think the accountability that provided for me is a piece that has been seriously lacking from this puzzle. So today I began again. I even put it in a nifty looking journal instead of a spiral notebook. This time I am determined to keep it up. I also really need to put the brakes on the whole eating out thing. I've done it far too often lately, for sure more than the once a week I've told myself I'm allowed. I'm weak, and I want to be social with people...which usually involves mealtime somewhere. But I resolve to work my willpower muscle a little more often. I've been pep talking myself in the mirror. Aside from feeling a little nuts, I don't know if that's working at all yet. I feel great for a few hours after, chalk full of resolve, but that feeling wears off fairly quickly and I'm left with the same soft spots I've always had trouble guarding against.