April was a little disappointing, at least as far as the scale is concerned. I began at 290.2 and ended at 284.2 bringing my total weight loss for the month to exactly 6 pounds. While disappointing, this is not surprising. I've had a lot of setbacks this month, most of which have been mental. I've slipped back into my habit of not eating. As a consequence my energy levels have been down and I haven't been giving my all in the gym or at home with my TurboFire. I haven't been sleeping, which means as a whole I've been less active due to the fact that when I'm not working or working out I'm lying in bed trying to sleep. I've been trying to get rid of The Lazies, but they just won't go back to wherever they came from.
But I am not one to dwell on the negative. April brought with it some accomplishments as well. Thanks to the suggestion of a friend, I started measuring myself and know that, at least since the 20th, I have lost an impressive 5 inches around the hip/belly and 2 inches around the circumference of my bicep and also my thigh. I also notice a large improvement in my heart rate. I had to put in effort to get my heart rate above 120 at the gym the other day. That used to be my walking around heart rate. I haven't been struggling with cravings for sweets as badly as I have been, which, considering my incredibly persuasive sweet tooth, I always count as success. While I still struggle to get a full 2 liters of water in daily, I have been improving on my intake and I haven't been indulging in other beverages as often. In fact, I find that when I drink all of my water I don't want other beverages.
On to a subject I've been wanting to post about since Thursday. I want to talk a little about guilt, shame, and regret as they come to dieting. I don't have them. I'm not big on guilt and shame as a general rule, but especially not concerning the food I eat. My philosophy is that guilt and shame are pretty much pointless emotions. Considering the commission of one's actions, one obviously had ample reasons, be they good reasons or not, to commit said actions. Only when the consequences are negative does one think to regret or feel guilty. What good does that do? It certainly doesn't turn back the clock and change anything. It doesn't actively work to correct said negative consequences. Shame and guilt accomplish absolutely nothing but making one feel wretched, and nobody has ever been motivated to admirable actions because they felt wretched. As for regret, I have far more consequential things to regret than any meal I've ever eaten. Why waste all that energy on something that is done and gone and probably brought me joy? I refuse. I bring this up because of a meal I had with a friend. I may have mentioned my coworker with whom I'm cutting back on carbs for at least 2 weeks. Well she took it into her head that we should go have a meal at IHOP because she wanted a Colorado Omelette and figured that fit into the diet. Technically, considering the thing is a massive pile of meat and egg and cheese, she was correct in that nothing in it was forbidden due to carbohydrate value. But once we were there and she ate her omelette she began to feel guilty. She began obsessing over how many calories were in her meal. She began planning to skip future meals to compensate. I myself ate the omelette and the included pancakes with relish and never looked back. It was good and it was what I wanted. It was one meal out of a week of meals, and as long as I didn't develop a Colorado Omelette problem, I saw no issue with indulging. I guess I wonder if guilt, shame, and regret necessarily need to play a role in weight loss? It seems like the general consensus is yes, but I personally disagree. Is it not better to actively change your habits based on information and conscientiousness than to reactively change because of guilt or shame or regret or any combination of the three?