Hello Again

SO a lot has happened since I last typed. I've been getting a lot of feedback. There have been a lot of people who have said they read, and honestly it made me feel bad that I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain here. So this is kind of a guilt posting, but isn't that the whole point? Wasn't the idea to be held accountable in the first place. Success is bittersweet, it seems. On the other hand, my blog has been weighing heavily on my mind lately...okay, not so heavily, but it has been flitting through my head with astonishing regularity.

So what is this "a lot" I speak of? In no particular order: I left the country. I have been asked to be in a wedding. My weight has bobbled from 262 to 278 and back again. And back again. I got a second job and was informed that I'll be losing my first one. I may have found a workout partner...that may cover it. If I think of more I'll let you know.

Oh yeah, and I turned 30. To celebrate the death of my twenties I hied myself off to Costa Rica. It's always been somewhere I wanted to go and I was determined to have a stamp in my passport by the big 3-0. It was gorgeous, but I'll admit that I've never been as conscious of being an overweight American in my life. The people in Costa Rico, who call themselves Ticos, are much smaller, in general. I think in the entire week I was there I may have seen two extra fleshy Ticos. And they talk about you. Seriously. I went ziplining and felt like a fat-ass when they gave me a double harness. Oh, yeah, that felt good. And then one of the guides made a comment that included the words "que larga". I'm not fluent, but I do know "how big" en espanol. Then lets talk about when I went scuba diving and the horror that was getting in and out of a wetsuit. Listening to the teeny tiny Tico man snicker as we try to wiggle me into the super sized suit. Even the horses were in on it! I went horseback riding twice and one nearly flatly refused to keep walking and the other kept turning his head to glare at me. I spent at least half of my vacation embarrassed of my size.

It was easy for me to see why the Tico culture lends to smaller individuals. The transportation there is usually your feet. When it's too far to walk they'll bike. Compared to the US there were relatively few automobiles. And the food is different there, too. Here, clean eating is a movement. There it's a way of life. I didn't have a single processed food during my entire stay. Everything was all natural, mostly local, and really fresh. They also aren't much for cheeses or other dairy. So the diet is mainly protein, vegetables, and rice. Rice and beans with a side of plantain and optional meats, there called casado, is a typical meal. I had it a lot. Can you say delicious? It is now a goal to figure out how to properly make my own casado.

But let's move on. Returning from Costa Rica, I was more determined to eat better, but didn't. I could make excuses, but the truth is that I just didn't want to cook. I didn't want to shop. I wanted to make healthier choices, but didn't want to do all the work involved. I've been incredibly lazy.  I continue to be lazy. I acknowledge this, but acknowledgement is not enough. I was very active on my trip, so I came back lighter than I left. I ruined it, of course, by my frequent trips to fast food establishments. I've made a few half hearted attempts to get my eating under control, but I can't quite commit. It's why my weight has yoyo'd. I've been working with MyFitnessPal, on and off. I had been consistent, but I fell off of that wagon. Like any other, it's hard to crawl back onto it.

In order to be more active, in general, I got a second job walking dogs. I really enjoy it, in spite of the summer heat. It was my plan to keep going to the gym (which we can talk about in a moment) and walk dogs so that I wasn't spending so much time lying around the house. In truth I find myself so exhausted (more excuses, I know) that I spend all my spare time sleeping. In order to combat that, I've found myself a gym buddy. Let's talk about the gym...more importantly, how I haven't been in it. My gym attendance has been terrible. I really need to make my fitness a priority, but I clearly don't possess the impetus to do it on my own, so I've gone to an outside source. We haven't started working out together, but I really hope this keeps me in line. Particularly since I need to get myself together before I make my first bridesmaids appearance. We all know there is always one pitiful bridesmaid and I refuse to be it.

So I think now you're all caught up. I won't torture you further. I'll try to be more consistent. Yeah, yeah, you've heard it before.